Category: One Liners Jokes

I’ve read so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently that I made a new, firm New Year’s resolution: NO MORE READING!

A man is washing his car with his son when the boy goes ‘Dad, can’t we use a sponge?’

What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?

Attire.

Question: What is yours, but is used much more often by your friends?

Answer: Your name.

Where were you between 4 and 6?

Kindergarten

My thesaurus arrived yesterday, but when I opened it it was blank inside. I have no words to describe how angry I am.

For some reason I read that as 2 gay guys at the beginning and was really confused when that never came back around

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

The frustrated cannibal threw up his arms

2 cows are grazing in a field. 1 cow says to the other, “You ever worry about that mad cow disease?”. The other cow says, “why would I care? I’m a helicopter!”.