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Top Funny Jokes

A collection of best jokes to enlighten your day

Author: Harry

A firm New Year’s resolution

I’ve read so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently that I made a new, firm New Year’s resolution: NO MORE READING!

Author HarryCategories One Liners Jokes
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How to stop two blind dudes fighting

Two blind dudes are fighting really viciously. How do you stop them?

You shout, “I’m betting on the dude with the knife!”

Author HarryCategories Two Line Jokes
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Would you cheat on your wife?

Would you cheat on your wife?

On whom else would I be cheating?!

Author HarryCategories Marriage Jokes
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Why did you steal the car?

Judge: “Why did you steal the car?”

Man: “I had to get to work.”

Judge: “Why didn’t you take the bus?”

Man: I don’t have a driver’s license for the bus.

Author HarryCategories Short Funny Jokes
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What method of contraception do you use?

What method of contraception do you use?

I’m always really nice and kind.

– Peter, 32, best friend of many, many women

Author HarryCategories Girl Friend Jokes
65 views
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Son, you were adopted

Father: “Son, you were adopted.”

Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”

Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”

Author HarryCategories Dad Jokes, Kids Jokes
56 views
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