A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

“Here is the situation,” she said. “A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?” A girl raised her hand and asked,

“To draw out all his savings?”

A husband asks her wife, “If I die, will you marry another man?”

A husband asks her wife, “If I die, will you get another marriage?”

The wife answered, “No, of course not! I’m going to go live with my sister. What about you, are you getting another marriage when I’m gone? “

He replied, “No, same with you. I’m going to go live with your sister.”

A 60 year millionaires is getting married. His friends are jealous and one of them ask how he landed such a hot 23 year old blonde beauty…

“Simple”, grins the millionaire.

” I faked my age”.

His friends are really amazed and ask him what age he told her…

he replies: ” I said i was 87″

A kung-fu student comes to his master…

A kung-fu student comes to his master:

“Master, why do I seem not to properly develop my kung-fu skills?”

The master takes a deep breath, closes his eyes and says:

  • My student. Have you ever noticed the flaming seagulls flying beneath the sun on sunset?

“Yes master, I have.”

  • But have you closely watched the waterfall and the way water falls on rocks without moving them?

“Yes master, I have watched them with immense attention”

The master takes another deep breath, and asks:

  • HAVE YOU… watched how the smallest creatures may thrive even on the most inhospitable habitats?

“Yes master. I have noticed them.”

That’s why. You keep looking at that sh*t and don’t train.

A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull

So he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder. The Russian tells him, “I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows.”

“Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown.”

“And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to be light brown color.”

The prince says, “I rather like the Turkish bulls. Fine specimens indeed.”

“Excellent choice, your majesty. But Turkish bull is special. They is bred for royalty, like you. But if you have royal blood, you must be bonding with bull calf when young, before they change color. Or they will reject you,” the Russian explains.

“Well”, the prince says, “I’m looking for a strong, adult bull. I’m not particularly interested in buying a calf. I rather like this big, beige bull over here.”

The prince attempts to pet the large Turkish bull. It sniffs his hand, shakes its head in disgust, turns around and kicks the prince with its hind legs.

The prince goes flying across the room and lands in a pile of hay.

“Where did you get such a horrible beast?! Why did it kick me!?” He sputters.

“I told you. From Turkey.” The Russian explains. “Is tan bull, can’t stand a noble.”