The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, “I don’t think you understand, I want something very special.” At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. “Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000,” the jeweler said. The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, “We’ll take it.” The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check. “I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,” he said. Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. “There’s no money in that account.” “I know”, said the old man, “but can you imagine the weekend I had?”
Category: Girl Friend Jokes
A 60 year millionaires is getting married. His friends are jealous and one of them ask how he landed such a hot 23 year old blonde beauty…
“Simple”, grins the millionaire.
” I faked my age”.
His friends are really amazed and ask him what age he told her…
he replies: ” I said i was 87″
Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
Doctor : Let me tell you a story: “There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went.
One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!
Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..
Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please.
The secret to a good wife…
Find a woman who makes you laugh; find a woman who turns you on; find a woman who can cook; find a woman who wants to build a life with you and take care of you in old age. Make sure these four women never meet.
A second girlfriend
To see her reaction,he told her that he wants a second girlfriend,
In the first day he didn’t see anything.
In the second day he didn’t see anything.
In the third day he began to see a little bit from his right eye.
A married man was visiting his “girlfriend” when she suggested that he shave his beard.
“Oh Ken, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.” Ken replied, “My wife loves this beard, there is no way I could shave it, she would kill me!!”. “Oh please?” the girlfriend asked again in a sexy little voice. Ken sighed and finally gave in and shaved his face smooth.
That night Ken crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping. His wife woke up, reached over and felt his face and said, “Oh Tony, you shouldn’t be here, my husband will be home soon!”
Two men are playing golf when one realises he’s left his jacket at the last tee
He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back. “What’s up?” asks his mate. “Well, you see those two women at the tee. One’s my wife, and she’s playing with my mistress.” His mate laughs and says, “No worries, I’ll go get it for you.” He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says “Small world.”
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, “I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why do you want to talk to me?” she asked puzzled.
“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.”
What method of contraception do you use?
What method of contraception do you use?
I’m always really nice and kind.
– Peter, 32, best friend of many, many women