A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

“Here is the situation,” she said. “A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?” A girl raised her hand and asked,

“To draw out all his savings?”

A husband asks her wife, “If I die, will you marry another man?”

A husband asks her wife, “If I die, will you get another marriage?”

The wife answered, “No, of course not! I’m going to go live with my sister. What about you, are you getting another marriage when I’m gone? “

He replied, “No, same with you. I’m going to go live with your sister.”

A lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said

“I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady: “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed: “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied: “Oh Well now That’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

7 Wives

5 years old son,

After watching a story of an Emperor on TV:

“Mum, I also want 7 wives, one will cook for me, one will read for me, one will go for walk with me, one will sing for me,one can bath me….”

Mum smiled and said:

“Then night time I don’t have to accompany you to sleep”.

After some thought, son said: “Not possible, I still want to sleep with you mummy!”

Moms eyes fill up with tears of happiness:

“My sweet son!”

“Then who will sleep with your 7 wives?”

“Let them sleep with daddy!”

Dads eyes fill up with tears of happiness:

“My sweet son!”

A husband suspects his wife may be going deaf.

To test this, he goes a few feet behind her, and softly whispers “Honey, can you hear me?”

There is no response, so he takes a step forward, and softly says again “Honey, can you hear me?” Again, there is no response

The husband goes right behind his wife, and again says “Honey can you hear me?”

The wife turns around and says “For the third time, yes”

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” The dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your mother, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.” The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit.”

Husband tells his wife “You’re negative.”

Wife gets angry and says “and you are stubborn, arrogant, a low life who cares about no one but yourself. All you are interested in is your own self, all your life you have not fulfilled even one of your promises. You good for nothing, fat, ugly man. Even your hair transplant failed.”

Husband: “Calm down, I was just informing you that your Covid test is negative.”

Wife: “Oh! Sorry honey!”