My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep.
I said “40”
Category: Animal Jokes
What do you call a fish with four eyes?
What do you call a fish with four eyes?
A fiiiish.
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications.
A duck was standing next to a busy road
I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said “Thanks”
I said “Don’t mention it”
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool.
Two Whales
Two whales are in a bar. One of them turns to the other and says,” Ohooaoaoaoaoaoaooaoaoaoaoaoaoaoaoaowwwwwoaoaoaoaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooooooooo.” The other one turns to the other and says,” Go home, Steve. You’re drunk.”
A talking dog
A dog walks into a bar from the construction site across the street and says “Gimme’ a beer.”
The bartender says “Wow! A talking dog. You should get a job at the circus.”
The dog says “They need bricklayers there?”
How do you tell the gender of an ant?
How do you tell the gender of an ant?
Put it in a glass of water. If it sinks its a girl ant. If it floats its buoyant.
A Chicken meets James Bond
A Chicken meets James Bond on a train
“What’s your name?” – Chicken
“Bond, James Bond. Yours?”
“Ken, Chic ken”