An elephant with diarrhea
A man has to leave for a few days and wants to find a temporary home for his parrot.
Because he knows the priest also has a parrot, he decides to ask him if he can watch his.
‘Absolutely not.’ The priest says. ‘All your parrot knows is how to curse. That’s not good for my parrot, as all mine does is pray.’
‘But your parrot will be able to teach mine some manners.’ The man points out.
After doing some thinking the man agrees and says he’ll watch the parrot. He takes him to his house and puts him next to his own parrot.
‘I want sex, I want sex.’ The parrot says.
‘Hallelujah.’ The other one says. ‘My prayers have been answered!’
Perrson 1: What’s a mouse that can walk on two legs?
Person 2: I don’t know.
Person 1: Mickey Mouse. What’s a duck that can walk on two legs?
Person 2: Donald Duck.
Person 1: No, all ducks, you idiot.
A squirrel is relaxing in his tree when it suddenly starts to shake violently. He looks outside and sees an elephant climbing the tree.
The squirrel says “hey elephant, what are you doing?”
The elephant replies “I’m climbing this tree to eat some pears!”
“You dummy,” sayeth the squirrel, “this is a pine tree… there’s no pears up here.”
The elephant says “I know, I brought my own!”
- How do you fit a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Open the fridge up and put it in there.
- How do you fit an elephant in the refrigerator?
Open it up, take the giraffe out, and put it in there.
- The king of the jungle calls a meeting. All the animals are there except for one. Which animal is missing?
The elephant because it’s still in the refrigerator.
- There’s a crocodile infested river you have to cross. How do you cross it?
Walk across because the crocodiles are at the lion’s meeting.
I went to a zoo but there was only one dog in it. It was a Shitzu
Two fish are sitting in a tank. One fish looks to the other and goes, “How do you drive this thing?”