I went to a zoo but there was only one dog in it. It was a Shitzu
Two fish are sitting in a tank
Two fish are sitting in a tank. One fish looks to the other and goes, “How do you drive this thing?”
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Two birds are sitting on a perch
Two birds are sitting on a perch. One says to the other ‘can you smell a fish?’
The Quarrel
I was walking to school one day, and I heard yelling from the other side of the street. It was a mom and a son. The mom yelled, “You are late! Why?” The son said, “I’m just good at sleeping mum, I can do it with my eyes closed!”
A bear and a rabbit
My wife walked in on me masturbating to an optical illusion.
My wife walked in on me masturbating to an optical illusion.
I said, “Honey, it’s not what it looks like!”
What’s the difference between a bird and a fly?
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
Son, you were adopted
Father: “Son, you were adopted.”
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”