Q: Maybe I can hear everything but you’ll never hear me say a word. Who am I?
–
A: Your ear.
How long would it take?
Q: You had 20 men build your house in two months. How long would it take 10 men to build the very same house?
–
A: Zero seconds. The house was already built by the 20 men.
Just blue elephants…
Patient: “Doctor, I see blue elephants everywhere…”
Doctor: “Have you seen a psychologist yet?”
Patient: “No just blue elephants.”
I’m not your mirror.
Cheerleader: Your ugly.
Me: *walks away*
Cheerleader: Hello? I said your-
Me: I’m sorry ‘honey’ I’m not your mirror.
I don’t wanna ‘taco’ bout’ it
Taco: Can we please TACO bout’ it!
Nacho: No, go away….
Taco: Why don’t you wanna TACO bout’ it?
Nacho: Because I’m NACHO friend anymore!
Who are you? And how did you get in?
A Man breaks into another Mans Home, the owner of the house said
“Who are you? And how did you get in?”
The Man responded
“I’m a Locksmith and I’m a Locksmith”
A firm New Year’s resolution
I’ve read so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently that I made a new, firm New Year’s resolution: NO MORE READING!
What word do all dictionaries spell wrong?
Q: What word do all dictionaries spell wrong?
–
A: Wrong.
What gets quickly wet while drying?
Q: What gets quickly wet while drying?
–
A: The towel.
What has three ways out and just one way in?
Question: What has three ways out and just one way in?
–
Answer: A T-shirt!