A collection of best jokes to enlighten your day
“And if you work with the same zeal next year, I’ll sign those checks!”
I told them I’d start in 6 months.
“It was something my boss said,” the woman replied.
“Why? What did he say?” the co-worker asked.
“You’re fired.”
The boss asks him, “What’s 2+2?”
“4” replies the accountant.
The boss tells him to get out. Sad, disappointed, and a little confused, the accountant slowly leaves the office.
The next candidate then enters and the boss asks him, “What’s 2+2?”.
“4” replies the accountant.
The boss tells him to get out.
Just as confused as the first accountant, the second one leaves thinking that if the boss is that stupid he doesn’t want to work there anyway.
The next candidate then enters and the boss asks him, “What’s 2+2?”.
The accountant replies, “Anything you want it to be.”
The boss says, “You’re hired.”
The man replies, “Oh yeah? And how would you do that?”
The woman says, “Just wait and see.”
She then hangs upside down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”
The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”
The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”
As the woman leaves, the man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”
The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”
I couldn’t concentrate in the orange juice factory.
I wasn’t suited to be a tailor.
The muffler factory was just exhausting.
I couldn’t cut it as barber.
I didn’t have the patience to be a doctor.
I didn’t fit in the shoe factory even though I put my soul into it.
The paper shop folded.
Pool maintenance was too draining.
I got fired from the cannon factory.
And I just couldn’t see any future as a historian.
“I thought you would,” he said. “Yesterday after you left to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she phoned up to talk to you.”
Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office.
Hoping to look like a hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he was working on a big, important business deal.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”
The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”
“Sorry, but we’re short-handed,” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”
“Thanks, boss,” says the employee. “I knew I could count on you!”