The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
Category: Two Line Jokes
Whatdya call a frenchman wearing sandals?
Whatdya call a frenchman wearing sandals?
Phillipe Phillope.
Doing capital letters
I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.
It’s shift work
A sound technician
I have a Polish friend who’s a sound technician. Oh, and a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too.
What do the movies titanic and the sixth sense have in common.
What do the movies titanic and the sixth sense have in common.
Icy dead people
What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus?
What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus?
A call from the ethics committee and immediate revocation of your grant funding.
A blind man walks into a bar
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Books about paranoia
A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia.
Librarian: “They’re right behind you!!”.
I hate people who write things on the internet
I hate people who write things on the internet that are passive-aggressively focused on a single person. You know who you are.
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.