Category: Two Line Jokes

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints.

Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo.

Someone stole my mood ring.

I don’t know how I feel about that.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.

You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My wife accused me of being immature.

I told her to get out of my fort.

I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.

And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life”

But John came fifth, and won a toaster.