Category: Two Line Jokes

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, they’re efficient and not very funny.

Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame that they’ll never meet.

I once had a friend who had a job circumcising elephants. The pay was lousy, but the tips were huge.

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.

If anything, it made him more sluggish.

I got in a fight with my girlfriend, and things got heated and she called me a pedophile. I was quite shocked since that’s a pretty big word for an 8 year old

I went to a really emotional wedding the other day.

Even the cake was in tiers.

Somewhere in the world, a woman is having a baby every 12 seconds.

We’ve got to find her and stop her!