Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk. “I’ll have to cross the road,” says one.
“Well, be careful,” says the other one, “there’s a bus coming in an hour.“
Category: Short Funny Jokes
Does your horse smoke?
Does your horse smoke?
[No.]
Well, then I think your stable is burning.
How come you don’t have your homework?
Teacher: How come you don’t have your homework?
Pupil: I lost it when I was fighting this kid who kept saying you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
Teachers and clouds commonness
What do teachers and clouds have in common?
Everything brightens up when they go away.
Arrived in a small country town on Friday
A man arrived in a small country town on Friday. He stayed there for three days and then left on Friday. How is that possible?
–
His horse was called Friday!
God has to go to the toilet too
Mommy, do you know if God has to go to the toilet too?
No child. Of course not. What makes you think this way?
Well grandpa knocked on the bathroom door this morning and said: “Oh God! Please hurry up!”
Permission to speak
Raphael runs to his father and starts talking to him urgently, “Dad, dad…”
His father turns to him angrily and says, “I’ve had it with you constantly interrupting me. From now on you’ll speak only when I’ve asked you something!”
Raphael thinks for a second and continues, “OK dad, can you please ask me if you’ve forgotten to put in the handbrake and if your car is now rolling down the road?”
Punished for something I haven’t done
Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”
Why are you so late?
Teacher asks the student: “Why are you so late?!”
Student: “Well I was crossing the road and suddenly it says “School ahead, go slowly!”
Sleep in class
Teacher to Paul: “Wake up, Paul! You can’t sleep in class!”
Paul to teacher: “I could actually, it’s just that you’re a bit loud.”