A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can’t you do the same?”
The husband: “Are you mad? I barely know that woman!”
Category: Short Funny Jokes
Do you do sports?
Doctor: “Do you do sports?”
Patient: “Does sex count?”
Doctor: “Yes.”
Patient: “Then no.”
My husband is acting so weird
A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”
Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“
Drinking problem
“My wife suffers from a drinking problem.”
“Oh is she an alcoholic?”
“No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”
What school?
Mother: “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick: “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother: “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick: “What school?”
My dog used to chase people
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Do you think I’m a bad mother
Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?
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My name is Paul.
Your password is incorrect
I decided to make my password “incorrect” because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, “Your password is incorrect.”
Do you have a bathroom?
I hate it when people are at your house and ask ‘Do you have a bathroom?’
No, we pee in the yard!