I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said “Thanks”
I said “Don’t mention it”
Category: Short Funny Jokes
A talking dog
A dog walks into a bar from the construction site across the street and says “Gimme’ a beer.”
The bartender says “Wow! A talking dog. You should get a job at the circus.”
The dog says “They need bricklayers there?”
A Chicken meets James Bond
A Chicken meets James Bond on a train
“What’s your name?” – Chicken
“Bond, James Bond. Yours?”
“Ken, Chic ken”
Cole’s law
-Have you heard of Murphy’s Law
-Yes, anything can go wrong will go wrong
-What’s about Cole’s law?
-No
-It’s a thin-slice cabbage dripped in mayonnaise and sour cream
Fruit punch ordering
Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.
Bartender says “Pal, if you want a punch you’ll have to stand in line” Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.
Ordering fish and chips
A man walks into a library and orders fish and chips.
The librarian says, “this is a library.”
The man, says, “oh. Sorry.” (Then in a whisper) “I’d like some fish and chips.”
I’m condescending
I’ve been told I’m condescending.
(that means I talk down to people)
Books about paranoia
A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia.
Librarian: “They’re right behind you!!”.
Disappearing on the count of 3
What did the black woman name her 5 sons?
What did the black woman name her 5 sons?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she tell them apart?
She just called them by their last names.