Category: Short Funny Jokes

Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?

Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?

Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.

Mr. Smith: “Doctor, you remember this strengthening solution you prescribed me yesterday?”

Doctor: “Yes, what’s the matter?”

Mr. Smith: “I would like to use it but I can’t open the bottle!”

In a boomerang shop: “I’d like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?”

Police: “Open the door!”
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Man: “I don’t want any balls!”
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Police: “What? We don’t have any balls!”
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Man: “I know.”

“You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door opens…”

“Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I’m expecting a serious discount on that car!”

In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull’s testicles.
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One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: “Funny, why are they so small today?”
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The waiter: “Today, sir, the bull won.”

Harry prays to God: Dear Lord, please make me win the lottery.

The next day Harry begs the Lord again: Please make it so I win the lottery, Lord!

The next day, Harry again prays: Please, please, dear Lord, make me win the lottery!

Suddenly he hears a voice from above: Harry, would you kindly go and buy a lottery ticket.

Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!

Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you’ve become such a passionate kisser…

What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains!

Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.”

Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”

Doctor: “Every two hours.”