Category: One Liners Jokes

A girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gave it to her.

A man walked into his house and was delighted when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps.

I saw a sign that said “watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade”

I wonder what name my dog would choose for me.

If you’re waiting to be served in a restaurant, shouldn’t you be called the waiter?

A glass of Nutella has about 9870 calories. But I don’t care. I never eat the glass anyway.

If you start to think I talk too much, just tell me. We’ll talk about it.

I got a really cute dog and called him Threemiles. It sounds great to say I walk Threemiles twice a day.

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.

Most of the time, when you cry, nobody notices the tears you shed. Most of the time, when you’re facing trouble, nobody feels your pain. But try farting in public just one time!