Arguing with your husband is fun, even if he wins… he loses.
Category: Marriage Jokes
I want to buy a case of beer
Sugar, can you lend me 15 dollars? I want to buy a case of beer.
No darling. I wanted to buy myself some make-up because I want to look pretty for you.
Sugar, that’s exactly why I wanted to buy those beers.
She wouldn’t talk to me for a month
A man sits in a restaurant and cries. The waiter comes and asks what happened.
The man replies: “My wife told me that she wouldn’t talk to me for a month.”
The waiter replies, “Oh no, that’s horrible!”
Man: “Yes!!! (Sobs) Today that month is over.”
Why did you two split up?
“Oh no, Roger, why did you two split up?”
“She’s a liar and a cheat! She said she was the whole night and her sister’s!”
“So? Maybe she was.”
“Yeah, no way. I was the whole night at her sister’s!”
She’s not wearing any underwear
My wife whispered in my ear today that she’s not wearing any underwear. Oh boy, now she’s already growing forgetful.
I made him a millionaire!
A woman says, I don’t know what he’s complaining about. I made him a millionaire!
And what was he before?
A billionaire.
Get something that would make her look sexy
My wife told me to go and get something that would make her look sexy. So I got drunk.
What real happiness is
A man simply doesn’t have a clue what real happiness is until he gets married.
But then it’s already too late for him.
Your dog bit my mother in law!
A neighbor comes to Mr Myer and says, “Your dog bit my mother in law!”
Mr Myer is horrified and apologizes, adding sadly, “You’ll probably be wanting financial recompense, won’t you?”
“Absolutely not!” smiles the neighbor, “I’d love to buy the dog!”
Mother-in-law’s funeral
Oh, I didn’t expect you at work today Mr. Brundy, isn’t it your
mother-in-law’s funeral today?”
“Well you know how it is.Work first, then fun.”