Top Funny Jokes

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.

You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My wife accused me of being immature.

I told her to get out of my fort.

I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.

And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life”

But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, they’re efficient and not very funny.

Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame that they’ll never meet.

I once had a friend who had a job circumcising elephants. The pay was lousy, but the tips were huge.

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.

If anything, it made him more sluggish.