Top Funny Jokes

People who are gluten free get a lot of hate, but I really respect them for going against the grain.

I’m not one to brag about my financial skills, but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding.

Having Barack Obama’s initials must stink.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

Ever notice how sometimes, people use observational humor?

Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.

Rehab is for quitters.

The trouble with jogging is, that by the time you realize you’re not in shape, it’s too far to walk back

Our band once had a Hungarian sound guy, and we had a Czech one too.

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, my fingers that I can always count on, my head for staying on top of things, my nuts for always hanging in there, and my dick for standing up for me.