A friend told me he had telekinetic powers, but I think he’s pulling my leg
I got fired from the morgue
I got fired from the morgue when I was caught with my cookie in the hand jar.
If I got a dime for every failed math exam
If I got a dime for every failed math exam, I’d have $3.55.
I love the F5 key
I love the F5 key. It’s just so refreshing!
I’ll bet you 40 bucks
I’ll bet you 40 bucks I have a gambling problem.
I put laxatives in the pot brownies
I put laxatives in the pot brownies for shits and giggles.
I tried to steal a beverage
I tried to steal a beverage but it wasn’t my cup of tea.
I hear there was indeed life on Mars
I hear there was indeed life on Mars, a small cat they say, but Curiosity killed it.
Photosynthesis is such a slow process
Photosynthesis is such a slow process; it doesn’t happen overnight.
In the beginning, there was nothing
In the beginning, there was nothing. Then the God says “let there be light”. There was still nothing, but now you can see it.