I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it’s been doing is gathering dust
If it wasn’t for physics
If it wasn’t for physics, I’d be unstoppable
My blind date
My blind date didn’t see anything in me
I used to have a problem with grammatical tenses
I used to have a problem with grammatical tenses — but not yet.
Pardon My French
Pardon My French, but I surrender.
When writing a story about losing your virginity
When writing a story about losing your virginity, its important to always put it in the first person
This coffee
This coffee isn’t my cup of tea.
Calligraphy
Calligraphy is an idea that looks good on paper.
One time in college, I drank enough alcohol to kill a horse
One time in college, I drank enough alcohol to kill a horse, but decided that I was okay with just killing a few stray cats instead.
I initially didn’t like having long nails
I initially didn’t like having long nails but they’re growing on me.