Grow old or die trying.
I made my bed every day for a week.
I made my bed every day for a week. Honestly, it seems like a waste of lumber
A gay deer stumbles
A gay deer stumbles out of a bar and says “Damn, I can’t believe I just blew fifty bucks.”
The teacher pointed at me
The teacher pointed at me and said “Name two pronouns!” and I looked around and said “who? me?”
I just shot my kids, framed my wife
I just shot my kids, framed my wife, and hung my parents on the wall, I love being a photographer.
If your parents didn’t have children
If your parents didn’t have children, chances are you won’t either.
Not many people know this
Not many people know this, but I’m famous.
I wanted to build the world’s tallest building
I wanted to build the world’s tallest building, but then I found out someone already did it
Petting zoos
Petting zoos are a great place to pick up chicks.
I went to a conference on infidelity
I went to a conference on infidelity and it was a wife-changing.