I was addicted to soap… I’m clean now.
People who buy stock photos
People who buy stock photos are photoshopping.
100% of all divorces
100% of all divorces start with marriage.
I’ve told you all a million times
I’ve told you all a million times not to exaggerate!
A camel can work 10 days without drinking
A camel can work 10 days without drinking, but I can drink 10 days without working.
eBay is so useless
eBay is so useless that when I tried to look up lighters, all they had was 13,749 matches.
My married friends keep trying to set me up
My married friends keep trying to set me up. I don’t know where they find all these bloody gloves.
I haven’t slept for ten days
I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
A male feminist walks into a bar
A male feminist walks into a bar, because it was set so low…
Unplugging something and plugging it back in doesn’t always work
Unplugging something and plugging it back in doesn’t always work, I learned that the hard way, sorry grandpa 🙁