I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
Why could the lifeguard not save the hippie?
Why could the lifeguard not save the hippie?
He was too far out man.
Cole’s law
-Have you heard of Murphy’s Law
-Yes, anything can go wrong will go wrong
-What’s about Cole’s law?
-No
-It’s a thin-slice cabbage dripped in mayonnaise and sour cream
My wife told me I need to quit playing Wonderwall
My wife told me I need to quit playing Wonderwall on guitar.
I said maybe…
Fruit punch ordering
Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.
Bartender says “Pal, if you want a punch you’ll have to stand in line” Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
How does a rabbi make his coffee?
Ordering fish and chips
A man walks into a library and orders fish and chips.
The librarian says, “this is a library.”
The man, says, “oh. Sorry.” (Then in a whisper) “I’d like some fish and chips.”
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
A psychic little person who has escaped from prison
What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.