The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves
Difference between a dirty old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants
Two drums and a cymbal
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.
A talking dog
A dog walks into a bar from the construction site across the street and says “Gimme’ a beer.”
The bartender says “Wow! A talking dog. You should get a job at the circus.”
The dog says “They need bricklayers there?”
Where’s my change
The monk gets his hot dog and pays with a $20 note, but he doesn’t get any money back. So he says: “Hey, where’s my change?” And the vendor says: “Change must come from within.”
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
How do you tell the gender of an ant?
How do you tell the gender of an ant?
Put it in a glass of water. If it sinks its a girl ant. If it floats its buoyant.
A Chicken meets James Bond
A Chicken meets James Bond on a train
“What’s your name?” – Chicken
“Bond, James Bond. Yours?”
“Ken, Chic ken”
What came first, the Chicken or the Egg?
What came first, the Chicken or the Egg?
Safety. Safety always comes first.
So what if I don’t know what Armageddon means?
So what if I don’t know what Armageddon means? It’s not the end of the world