I once worked in a bank, but then I lost interest.
The future, the present, and the past
The future, the present, and the past walk into a shady bar.
Things get tense.
I nearly drowned yesterday
I nearly drowned yesterday. It was a breathtaking experience.
Stairs cannot be trusted
Stairs cannot be trusted. They’re always UP to something.
Why did the lights go out?
Q: Why did the lights go out?
A: They liked each other a lot.
A driver doesn’t know how to drive?
What kind of a driver doesn’t know how to drive?
The screwdriver.
Apple staff
Why are Apple staff absolutely forbidden to fart in Apple stores?
Because there are no windows.
How to embarrass an archaeologist
How to embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a used tampon and ask him to determine which period it came from.
Somebody stole all my lamps
Somebody stole all my lamps. I couldn’t be more delighted.
When you get depressed in the middle of winter
When you get depressed in the middle of winter, just chuck some butter from your window.
You’ll see a butterfly.