When a deaf person sees someone yawn do they think it’s a scream?
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming.
My friend says to me: “What rhymes with orange?” I said: “No it doesn’t”
Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
Me and my wife decided that we don’t want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Mr. Santa when she looked into the sky?
A: It looks like rain dear