Category: Funny Puns

How to achieve a beach body?

1. Have a body

2. Arrive at the beach.

I wanted to tell you a joke about leeches. But I won’t – they all suck.

Doctor: You’re obese.

Patient: For that I definitely want a second opinion.

Doctor: You’re quite ugly, too.

Have you heard about this dude who had to have his left leg and left arm amputated after a car crash? — He’s all right now.“

Why is the math book so sad?
–
It’s got too many problems!

I’d love to know how the Earth rotates. It would totally make my day.

Why are programmers no fans of the outdoors?
–
There are too many bugs.

Notice on a shoe repair shop:

I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.