Author: Yinny

Being accepted into the Baptist church requires a tough test.

The minister meets with three married couples who want to join the Baptist Church. The first couple are retirees from Florida, the second couple are in their early 40s, and the last couple are newlyweds, having been married only 3 weeks. “We have developed a small test for those who want to join, I’m afraid. You must go without having sex for 2 weeks … and if you succeed, then you will welcome you with open arms.”

The three couples shake the minister’s hand and leave, determined to meet this test.

Two weeks later, the three couples return and meet with the minister in his office. “Did you succeed in your test?” he asks the first couple.

“Yes sir, we did. We have not had sex in 2 weeks.” The older husband and wife beamed at the minister, and he shook their hands and welcomed them to the church.

Moving to the second couple, he asks the same question. The middle-aged couple look at each other, and say “Yes sir … we struggled a bit with it, but we have managed not to have sex for 2 weeks as you requested.” The minister smiled, shook their hands, and welcomed them to the church.

Then, he approached the newlywed couple, both in their early 20s. “My friends, did you pass the test?” The couple, shame-faced, look at each other before the husband answers, “I’m afraid not, pastor. We did really well the first 3 days, but on the fourth day, my wife bent over to pick up a can of corn and I just happened to be behind her, and before I knew it, we were having sex right then and there. I’m very sorry,” he said, hanging his head.

Frowning, the minister said, “I understand, but I’m afraid you won’t be able to join our church.”

The man replies, “That’s okay pastor – we’re not allowed back to the grocery store either.”

3 turtles named Joe, Jeff, and Jimmy decide to go on a picnic

They pack, chips, sandwiches, and soda, and start to walk to their picnic area. The spot is 5 miles away, and it takes the turtles 10 full days to get there. Once they get there, they realize that they had left the bottle opener, and thus could not open the sodas. They nominate Jimmy to walk back and bring the bottle opener. Jimmy is at first reluctant, as he thinks Jeff and Joe will just eat all the food while he is gone, but after two hours, he is convinced that they won’t, and sets out on his journey.

20 days pass, and Joe and Jeff are extremely hungry, but they remember their promise and wait for Jimmy to return. Another 3 days pass, and they become worried, but still remember the promise they made, and wait. After another 5 days, they begin to believe Jimmy abandoned them, and went to the McDonald’s down the street instead. So they decide to eat the sandwiches.

Just as they are about to take their first bite, Jimmy appears from behind a rock, and says “I knew it! Just for that, I’m not going!”

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper.

After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.

Bill said to Jim and Scott, let’s break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting.

“I’ll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way.”

At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories.

“I will tell my saddest story first,” he said. “I left the room key in the car!”

The Japanese invented a thief catching robot.

After running successful lab trials they decided to test it. After deploying in Tokyo the robot caught 35 thieves in 24 hours.

The news Broke out.

Much Impressed, the Brits ordered the robot for themselves. After deploying in London the robot busted 65 thieves under 8 hours.

The Americans, also impressed ordered the robot. Under 3 hours after its deployment in NYC the robot caught nearly 100 thieves.

The Indians, already facing massive complaints of thievery and muggings, decided to give it a try.

After deploying the robot in Mumbai under 30 minutes the robot got stolen.