When he arrived he was told he’d have to take a welding test.
He turned in 2 sets of welds. One was a great weld, the other was a mess.
When the boss asked him why he did this he replied “One is $18/hr, the other is $24/hr”.
A collection of best jokes to enlighten your day
When he arrived he was told he’d have to take a welding test.
He turned in 2 sets of welds. One was a great weld, the other was a mess.
When the boss asked him why he did this he replied “One is $18/hr, the other is $24/hr”.
“Simple”, grins the millionaire.
” I faked my age”.
His friends are really amazed and ask him what age he told her…
he replies: ” I said i was 87″
“I would like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady: “I need it to poison my husband.”
The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed: “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied: “Oh Well now That’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
“Nah, there’s no need” I replied.
“But why?” she asked. “We always pray at home when I cook dinner.”
“Because I think we’ll be fine here, the chef knows what he’s doing.”
Doctor : Let me tell you a story: “There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went.
One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!
Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..
Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please.
5 years old son,
After watching a story of an Emperor on TV:
“Mum, I also want 7 wives, one will cook for me, one will read for me, one will go for walk with me, one will sing for me,one can bath me….”
Mum smiled and said:
“Then night time I don’t have to accompany you to sleep”.
After some thought, son said: “Not possible, I still want to sleep with you mummy!”
Moms eyes fill up with tears of happiness:
“My sweet son!”
“Then who will sleep with your 7 wives?”
“Let them sleep with daddy!”
Dads eyes fill up with tears of happiness:
“My sweet son!”
Two lawyers walk into a restaurant, sit down at a table, order a coffee and pull out sandwiches from their suitcases. An angry waitress approaches them, exclaiming “Excuse me, you can’t eat your own food here!” The lawyers look at her, then at each other and exchange the sandwiches.
A kung-fu student comes to his master:
“Master, why do I seem not to properly develop my kung-fu skills?”
The master takes a deep breath, closes his eyes and says:
“Yes master, I have.”
“Yes master, I have watched them with immense attention”
The master takes another deep breath, and asks:
“Yes master. I have noticed them.”
That’s why. You keep looking at that sh*t and don’t train.
It’s quite time consuming
Ones an animal found in Australia and the other is a Geordie stuck in a lift.