Youngest person alive – that must be a world record that gets broken the most often.
Author: joker
If you’re waiting to be served in a restaurant
If you’re waiting to be served in a restaurant, shouldn’t you be called the waiter?
I and Bill Gates
I and Bill Gates have a combined fortune of approximately 80 billion dollars.
Wishes from a good fairy
Tom and Anna are both 60 years old and have been married for 40 years.
One day they go for a walk and all of a sudden a good fairy stands in front of them and says, “You’ve been married for so long and you’re so cute together, I’ll grant you a wish each.”
The woman is beside herself with joy and wishes for a trip to Thailand. Poof – she’s holding two tickets to Thailand and a five star hotel voucher for two.
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The man says, “Wow, that’s one chance in a lifetime! I’m sorry, darling, but I wish I had a wife that’s 30 years younger than me.”
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“Are you sure?” asks the fairy.
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“Yes!” replies Tom without hesitation.
–
Poof once more – and he’s 90.
I like to help
I saw a poster today, somebody was asking “Have you seen my cat?” So I called the number and said that I didn’t. – I like to help where I can.
I wish I could go to the Maldives again
I wish I could go to the Maldives again.”
“Wow, you’ve been to the Maldives?”
“No, but I wished it before.”
Have a good day
When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day.
Who am I to argue? So I thanked him and went back home.
A glass of Nutella has about 9870 calories
A glass of Nutella has about 9870 calories. But I don’t care. I never eat the glass anyway.
I’m looking for insulation wool for my hobby room
A guy goes to the information desk in a supermarket and says, “ I’m looking for insulation wool for my hobby room.”
The clerk apologizes that they sell no such thing, perhaps he’d be more lucky at a Home Depot.
“OK,” agrees the man, “all jokes aside, I’m looking for tampons for my wife.”
God will help me
A priest falls into water and soon starts to drown. But his faith in God is strong and he knows God will save him.
A small boat rows to him and offers help. “No! God will help me, thank you!” gasps the priest and continues drowning.
A second, bigger boat comes by soon and tries to get the man out of the water. “No!” fights the priest. “God alone will save me!” The boat leaves and the priest finally drowns.
In heaven, he feels quite betrayed and goes to ask God about it.
“Well, you moron,” thunders the Lord, “and who do you think sent all those ships?!”