What has 4,000 eyes and 8,000 legs?
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Two thousand dogs.
Author: joker
How do you stop a dog from barking
How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat when you’re driving?
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Invite him to bark in the front seat.
When you arrive home after work
When you arrive home after work, your dog will be extremely happy to see you and will lick your face.
The cat will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.
My wife loves cats
“My wife loves cats. But she’s got 40 of them and they cause a gruesome smell in our flat.”
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“I guess you should air more often to battle that.”
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“No can do, if we opened the windows, my 150 pigeons would fly away”
Two gangsters are about to break out of prison
Two gangsters are about to break out of prison. The first one jumps off a wall into a trash container.
The guard shouts, “Who’s there?”
Gangster replies, “MEOOOOOOW!”
The guard is relieved, “Ah ok, just a cat.”
Then the second gangster jumps.
The guard gets suspicious, “Hello, anybody there?”
The second gangster yells, “Nah, just the cat again!”
What kind of dog eats with his ears?
What kind of dog eats with his ears?
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They all do. I haven’t seen a single dog remove their ears before tucking in.
When you say somebody is one in a million
When you say somebody is one in a million, then taking into account the current human population, you’re really saying there are 7 500 people exactly like him.
I wonder what name
I wonder what name my dog would choose for me.
Nobody hates Mondays
Nobody hates Mondays. Just a lot of people hate their jobs.
Anything in America is within walking distance
Anything in America is within walking distance – it only depends on how much time you have.