Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roastbeef. Please call the manager! “
Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”
Author: joker
A bank is a place that will lend you money
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
Dolphins are so smart
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Teaching children
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
The early bird might get the worm
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Light travels faster than sound
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Died peacefully in my sleep
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I asked God for a bike
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
What is on my desk?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…