I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was taking a day off.
Author: joker
The glass is half full
The optimistic say the glass is half full. The pessimistic say the glass is half empty. Engineers say the glass is twice as big as necessary.
Your worst quality
A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.
The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?”
The man says “I’m probably too honest.”
The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.”
The man replies, “I don’t care about what you think!”
A famous artist
I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work.
Who is the stupid one?
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.
I gave up my seat to a blind person
I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
Wishes from genie
Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of luck, they find a magic genie lamp.
The genie grants each of them one wish.
The first guy wishes to be back home. Wish granted.
The second guy wishes the same. Wish granted.
The third guy says, “It feels very lonely here now, I wish my friends were with me…” Wish granted.
A guy shows up late for work
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8.30?’
Last thing my grandpa said to me
I remember the last thing my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket.
He said, “Hey Jack, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
Is there a hole in your shoe?
“Is there a hole in your shoe?”
“No.”
“Then how did you get your foot into it?”