Two cannibals are eating a clown. One looks at the other and asks, “Does this taste funny to you?”
I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool
I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool. The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
What’s the soft stuff between sharks’ teeth?
What’s the soft stuff between sharks’ teeth?
Slow swimmers.
A man goes to the zoo and the only thing there is one dog
A man goes to the zoo and the only thing there is one dog.
It is a shitzhu.
I would like to thank my father for coming
I would like to thank my father for coming. Without him I wouldn’t be here today.
Are you sure you don’t need a list?
Where did Sally go during the bombing?
What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch?
What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch?
Names.
Go to the market and grab an apple
A programmer’s wife tells him: “Go to the market and grab an apple. If they have eggs, grab a dozen.” He returns with 13 apples.
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.