People are making end of the world jokes like there’s no tomorrow.
I put root beer in a square glass
I put root beer in a square glass and all I got was beer.
An opinion without 3.14
An opinion without 3.14 is just an onion
Knowing how to pick locks
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me
I’m an archaeologist
I’m an archaeologist and my life is in ruins
I used to steal Mitch Hedberg’s jokes
I used to steal Mitch Hedberg’s jokes; I still do, but I used to too.
Man with authority walks into a bar
Man with authority walks into a bar and orders everyone a round!
I have a fear of elevators
I have a fear of elevators, but I’ve started taking steps to avoid it.
I’ve had amnesia
I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can’t remember
Every single corpse on Mt. Everest
Think about it – every single corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person.