7/11 was a part time job
If two wrongs could make a right
If two wrongs could make a right then four wrongs could make a plane
It only takes one drink to get me drunk
It only takes one drink to get me drunk but I can’t remember if its the 13th or the 14th.
I won’t apologize
I won’t apologize and I’m sorry if you have a problem with that
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me.
There is a new apartment called the Oedipus Complex
There is a new apartment called the Oedipus Complex, everyone and their mom is moving there.
You know what I hate
You know what I hate about people leaving jokes unfinished?
I met an estate agent
I met an estate agent who didn’t know the abbreviation for ‘apartment’. I thought, “that’s apt”
I was gonna join the debate team
I was gonna join the debate team, but somebody talked me out of it.