I don’t like when my cab driver goes the extra mile for me.
My friend is finally going to watch Back to the Future
When my friend told me he’s finally going to watch Back to the Future, I told him it’s about time.
If opposites truly attract
If opposites truly attract, the correct life strategy is to be a loser
I married Miss Right
I married Miss Right, but I didn’t know her first name was Always.
Asexuals
Asexuals don’t fuck around
The oddest years of my high school career
The oddest years of my high school career were 9th and 11th.
Hyperbole
Hyperbole is literally the best thing ever
I shipped a package of food
I shipped a package of food to my old girlfriend because she was hungry. FedEx.
My name is Joe
My name is Joe, but all my friends call me infrequently.
The only way you’ll ever get laid
The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait