Dogs have beloved masters. Cats have waiting staff.
Money alone won’t make you happy
Money alone won’t make you happy. You’ve got to own it.
Religious differences
We got divorced on the grounds of religious differences. My husband thought he was God.
Before you say something harsh
Before you say something harsh about someone, try walking a mile in their shoes. It’s very convenient because even if you’re really rude, you’re a mile away AND you’ve got their shoes.
He’ll fix it
If a man said he’ll fix it, he’ll fix it. There is no need to nag him every 6 months about it.
I’m standing outside
I’m standing outside. In other words, I’m outstanding.
Knock knock Wire
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Wire.
Wire who?
Wire we here? Why is anybody here? Let’s just have a drink.
Knock knock Alex
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Alexplain everything once you’ve opened the door.
Knock knock Eggcited
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Egg.
Egg who?
Eggcited to see me?
Knock knock Ken
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Ken I come in?