I was a doctor for a while but then I quit. I simply didn’t have enough patience.
Could you call me a taxi, please?
Dad – Could you call me a taxi, please?
–
As you wish, dear taxi.
My dad should embrace his mistakes
I told my dad that he should embrace his mistakes. He had tears in his eyes. Then he hugged my sister and me.
Can you call mom’s phone?
“Dad, can you call mom’s phone? She can’t find it.”
“Absolutely! ‘Mom’s phone! Mom’s phone!’”
What is an alcoholic?
“Daddy, what is an alcoholic?”
“Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.”
“Um, Dad – there are only 2 trees.”
How my dad feels
When somebody asks my dad how he feels, he always replies, „With my hands.“
What’s up?
Yo Dad, what’s up?
–
The ceiling.
How do I look, daddy?
Daughter: “How do I look, daddy?!”
Dad: “With your eyes, sweetheart.”
I have a very secure job
Dad: I have a very secure job. There’s nobody else who would want it.
Do you know why I can’t be buried here?
“We drove past a city cemetery and my dad remarked, “Do you know why I can’t be buried here, boy?”
“Why?”
“Because I’m still alive.”