A kindergarten teacher is explaining what “literally” means to her class and asking them what it means.
Teacher: Okay, Does everyone know what “literally” means?
Teacher: Use it in a sentence
Kid 1: Birds literally come out of nowhere
Teacher: That’s not true but it is if you put it as you aren’t paying attention
Kid 2: Pizza is literally the best food ever
[kid walks back]
Kid 3: I literally pooped in the sink
Teacher: Did you really?
Alissa was talking about her favorite animals with her best friend.
Alissa asked: “Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?”
Her best friend replied: “Yes”.
Alissa asked: “How?”
Alissa’s best friend said: “Because a house can’t jump at all”.
Kindergarten Teacher: OK class. If you went to sleep in 1970 what year did you wake up?
Kid 1: 1970.
Teacher: OK anyone else have an answer?
Kid 2: This year – 2017.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Kid 2: Because the bed was called a 1970 cause that was when it was made.
Kid 3: Because you pooped yourself and it took them until 2017 to remove the stain
Teacher: Where do you get these answers…?