Diet Day #1 – I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
Author: joker
Fighting boredom before the internet
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn’t know either.
Dear Algebra
Dear Algebra,
Please stop asking us to find your x
She is not coming back
Here’s the number
Boy: Hey Beautiful, Can I have your number?
Girl: No, I have a boyfriend.
Boy: But I’m gay, can I have the number now?
Girl: Oh, okay! Here’s the number.
Boy: Thanks, I’m not really gay. Ha!
Girl: That’s my boyfriends number.
I must have a great butt
I must have a great butt, because every time I finish talking to someone and start to walk away. I hear them whisper ‘what an ass’
Did you finish your homework?
Teacher: Did you finish your homework?
Kid: Did you finish grading my test?
Teacher: I have other children’s tests to grade
Kid: I have other teachers homework to do
Mom, I’m pregnant
Daughter: Mom, I’m pregnant!
Mom: I thought I told you when a guy touches your boobs, say don’t, and when he touches you vagina, say stop.
Daughter: But he kept touching both, so it came out,”don’t, stop, don’t, stop.
DO NOT READ
DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE.
You little rebel, I like you.
I have a boyfriend
Boy: Hi.
Girl: I have a boyfriend.
Boy: I said hi, not suck my dick.
Don’t say yes
Husband (watching a video):
Don’t do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don’t say yes. No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!
Wife: Honey, why you so mad? What’aya watching?
Husband: Our wedding ceremony.