A boy asked his father, “Dad, how much does it cost to get married?”
Father grimly replied, “I wouldn’t know son, I’m still not done paying for it.”
A collection of best jokes to enlighten your day
A boy asked his father, “Dad, how much does it cost to get married?”
Father grimly replied, “I wouldn’t know son, I’m still not done paying for it.”
Q: Why did God create Adam first and Eve as second?
A: Because he wasn’t interested in listening to anyone telling him how to make Adam.
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said “I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!” He said, “Explain the kids!”
A boy says to a girl, “So, sex at my place?” “Yeah!” “Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we’re making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?” Later on the girl is yelling, “Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!” The younger brother says, “Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!”
There is a black man, a white man, and a Mexican man on a plane that is too heavy to fly and they are about to crash. They each have to throw something off the plane to save them from crashing.
The black man throws out his Jordan shoes and says, “We have too many in our country.” The Mexican tosses out his lawn mower and says, “We have too many in our country.” The white man puts his item down, grabs the Mexican, throws him out the window and says, “We have too many in our country.”
What do you call an alligator that’s wearing a vest?
An investigator.
Pilot: The plane is about to crash! Quick, make your last call to say your last words!
Guy: Babe, I’m so sorry, I cheated on you.
Girl: WHAT!???
Pilot: Oops, nevermind, the plane is back in control!
Guy: CRASH THE FUCKING PLANE DAMMIT.
Boy and girl: asked the teacher very important question?
“Can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“See? I told you not to worry!!!!
Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
When a woman says “what?” Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s just giving you a chance to change what you said.