Author: joker

The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait

I’ve been learning how to lift weights, but it’s not easy to pick up.

I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.

I keep a potato masher in the drawer because sometimes it is fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Jet lag is a terminal illness.

The concept of odourless perfume makes no scents.

I’ve decided to stop masturbating, since then I’ve not really felt myself.

I started a cold air balloon business but I’m having trouble getting it off the ground.

I have kleptomania, But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

I’ve seen lots of restaurants and bars advertising “BIG GAME!” this week, but I’ve yet to see a single lion, elephant or rhino on any of their menus.