Top Funny Jokes

Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”

Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”

Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”

Teacher asks the student: “Why are you so late?!”

Student: “Well I was crossing the road and suddenly it says “School ahead, go slowly!”

Teacher to Paul: “Wake up, Paul! You can’t sleep in class!”
Paul to teacher: “I could actually, it’s just that you’re a bit loud.”

Dad on the last day of school: So, where’s your school report, my boy?

Tom: Sorry, I’ll bring it a day later.

Dad: Why?

Tom: I borrowed it to Kevin because he wanted to scare his parents.

Mother is waking her son: “Paulie, come, wake up, you have to go to school.”
“Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.”
“No, it’s really high time, now get up.”
“But I don’t want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain!”
“Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!”
“Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the stupid school.”
“Paulie, first of all, you’re 45, and second, you’re the headmaster.”