It’s always scary when a computer turns into a zombie. It has many mega-bites.
Author: joker
Helium walks into a bar and orders water
Helium walks into a bar and orders water. Bartender apologizes, “Sorry sir but we’re currently out of water.” What does Helium do? It doesn’t react.
What is blue and smells like red paint?
Q: What is blue and smells like red paint?
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A: Blue paint.
Last words of a highly poisonous snake?
Last words of a highly poisonous snake?
“Drat, I bit myself on the tongue!”
The tallest piece of furniture
What is the tallest piece of furniture?
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The bookcase. It’s got the most stories.
Good news and bad news
Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
Michael: The good news.
Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.
May I disturb you shortly
At work:
Excuse me, may I disturb you shortly?
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Of course, what is it?
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Nothing, I just wanted to disturb you.
What has four legs, one foot and one head?
What has four legs, one foot and one head?
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A bed.
Master of fast calculations
“I am a master of fast calculations.”
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“OK, what is 758 time 642 divided by 5?”
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“22!”
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“Ha ha, that’s wrong!”
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“Might be, but it was fast!”
How many times a day do you shave?
Girl: So, how many times a day do you shave?
Man: Well, about 15-20 times every day.
Girl: My god, are you some kind of crazy?
Man: No, I’m a barber.