Author: joker

I can’t wait to ask for the WIFI password at my hotel in Australia so I can say “I come for the LAN down under”…

You can’t plant flowers if you haven’t botany

Spoiler alert! The milk has been in the fridge for three weeks.

The idea of unsalted almonds is just plain nuts

I can’t wait to get home and rip off my girlfriends panties, they’re really starting to chaffe my thighs.

As a scarecrow, people say I am outstanding in the field, but hay, it’s in my jeans!

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

I once dated a girl who owned a parrot. That crazy thing would never shut up. The parrot was kind of cool, though.

They’re called “baristas” because “coffee maker” was already taken.

If you can’t be positive, just be double negative