A collection of best jokes to enlighten your day
Q: A man on a flat soccer field kicked a soccer ball 40 feet away. The ball came back immediately at the same speed. No one else and no object have been involved. The ball didn’t touch anything on its way. How did the man do that?
A: He kicked the ball up in the air.
Q: Peter’s smart phone fell into a big mug of coffee but didn’t get wet. How was this possible?
A: It was coffee powder.
Q: What has a tail and a head, but no body?
A: A nickel.
This blonde is going door to door trying to find some paying work. She knocks on one door and a handsome older man opens it up.
“Hey mister, do you have any odd jobs I could do for cash?”
He looks her up and down and surmises that she’s an idiot whom he can take advantage of.
“I’ll give you ten dollars if you paint my porch. There’s paint, brushes, ladders and everything you’ll need next to the car in the garage.”
“Sure, sounds great!”
The man closes the door, chuckling at what a great deal he’s just brokered. Half an hour later, there’s another knock at the door. He opens it up and there’s the blonde.
“You’re finished already?” he asked her incredulously.
“Yeah! It isn’t really that big! But I think you should know, that’s not a porch. It’s a Jaguar!”
Question: What is yours, but is used much more often by your friends?
Answer: Your name.
Where were you between 4 and 6?
Kindergarten
A squirrel is relaxing in his tree when it suddenly starts to shake violently. He looks outside and sees an elephant climbing the tree.
The squirrel says “hey elephant, what are you doing?”
The elephant replies “I’m climbing this tree to eat some pears!”
“You dummy,” sayeth the squirrel, “this is a pine tree… there’s no pears up here.”
The elephant says “I know, I brought my own!”
Question: What was the world’s highest mountain before the discovery of Mount Everest?
Answer: The Mount Everest (it doesn’t matter whether people discovered it or not, it was the highest mountain even before that!)
Q: What has two legs but cannot walk?
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A: A pair of trousers.